NHL Fantasy Hockey Pool Strategy Guide

The Green Men's Top Ten Playoff Rituals

It’s playoff time around the NHL, and Vancouver Canucks super-fans the Green Men are getting themselves ready for another deep run.  Amidst the hoopla of their postseason preparations, we had a chance to catch up with Sully and Force and find out what they do to prepare for hockey’s second season. 

From the final horn of the last regular season game, to the Game One warm-up, Sully and Force are a busy team.  Along with picking up their green suits from the dry-cleaner's, the duo is busy sharpening their wit.  It takes practice to go Stone-Cold on the visitors from behind the plexi-glass. They gave us a preview of what’s in store.  

Here’s The Green Men’s Top 10 Playoff Rituals for the 2013 NHL postseason:

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SULLY: #10) First, before the playoffs start I wash our suits.  There’s a good chance that they won’t be washed again ‘til the run is done, so I have to take advantage of the opportunity while I can.   We’ve tried to tough it out in stinky suits before, but believe me it’s not worth it!   Honestly, there’s nothing worse than doing a handstand in a smelly suit.  I give ‘em the harshest rinse-cycle on the dial, and then toss in some cute little teddy bear Snuggle for fragrance.

FORCE: #9) The very first thing I do before I even think about jumping back into that suit is pray to my god DC.  Most of the time I don't get an answer back, but every now and then David Copperfield guides me in the right direction.  He's a gentleman, he's a scholar, and he's the closest this world will ever come to a true magician!

SULLY:  #8) Next, it’s important to remember that playoff pre-games are different from the regular season; we have to be on guard at all times.  Visiting-team fans might try to harm us, or even kidnap us!  Did you know Celtic Pride is a true story?  Due to this unfortunate fact, I’m on 24/7 watch outside of my North Vancouver house.  I’ve had to yell at quite a few 80-year old women to cross and walk on the other side of the street because they made me feel nervous.  This is what comes with living in the national spotlight.

FORCE: #7) So it’s game-day, time to get ready before I leave my house in Surrey, BC, which means double checking to see if my car still has tires and isn't sitting on cinder blocks.  I've been car-napped on three separate occasions in the past two weeks.  The Green Men Spare Tire Fund is starting to run dry.

SULLY: #6) When you’re relied upon night-in and night-out to get the people amped by moving your body in a very weird fashion, stretching is mandatory!  …Which is why I don’t do it.  Instead, I like to relax and listen to some soft rock or smooth jazz before the game.  Nothing gets me more pumped for playoff game-night than a little “Listen to the Music” by the Doobie Brothers.

FORCE: #5) For the playoffs I don't wear a jock.  There's no funny story here, I just don't wear one.  Thought I should say that.

SULLY: #4) Often times I’ll find myself wondering about the meaning of life before a playoff game. Then, before I decide to leave for the rink I’ll find it in a nice big can of Chunky Chicken Corn Chowder Soup.  It tastes absolutely amazing going down and it gives me my weekly sodium intake in one sitting.  It’s got it all!  However, ten minutes after I eat it, there’s a decent chance that I may also feel like dying.  If this happens I just remember that there’s also a decent chance that I may not die.

FORCE: #3) So, it’s time to hit the rink.  When we're in the suits, and the puck is about to drop, Sully and I always envision Rick Astley.  It makes us feel more confident with our dance moves.  In turn, we offer a better show to the fans, and to the disapproving plug in the penalty box.

SULLY: #2) Now it’s time to get Canucks fans jacked for playoff hockey.  This is what you don’t see on TV.  While the teams line up at center ice, Force and I usually like to create some exciting ambiance. He usually plays cello while I dance on the stairs playing the piccolo.  Our greatest success thus far has been our rendition of Beethoven No. 2.  No not the symphony, the theme song from the second Beethoven movie!  The fans eat it up every time.

FORCE: #1) The game starts and we try to do one thing and one thing only.  Adrian said it best in Rocky 2, and that’s “Win....win.”  That's the plan.  Most of the time it works…

***

There you have it.  Sully and Force, ready to throw down and do whatever it takes to help the Vancouver Canucks go deep into the playoffs this spring.  For The Green Men’s sake, we hope it’s a long run.  When it comes to unofficial mascots, we have Sully and Force ranked first overall.

 

 

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